What-If Effect
by Leven the Valkyrie
Summary: Past regrets keep Roxas up at night. He can't place his finger on it, but he knows something is missing in his life. Join him as he travels back in time to try all of his mistakes.
1. Chapter 1

I've been having a major slump with all of my stories. I wanted to write, but my brain just couldn't find the words. Then Ewonsama asked me to go back to one of my first fics and finish it. So I'm currently editing the first 6 chapters and posting them.

Hope you all enjoy it!

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What if you could go back and do something differently? How much of your life would be different? Would you still have the same friends? Would you still have a decent relationship with your family? Would you still be married to a woman you knew you didn't love? Or perhaps you'd be with someone you did love.

My name is Roxas Lemony. I'm 26 years old. I live in Hollow Bastion with my high school sweetheart and now wife, Xion, and these thoughts keep me up all night every night.

What is it that keeps me up? That there's something or someone in my life that's missing. Something that I had overlooked in my younger years. I know it sounds stupid, but every night I wish on the first star that appears in the night sky. I would wish for a chance to go back to the time when I messed up. Hoping that I can prevent how much of a miserable adult I had become.

I knew it was a waste of time and that wishing on stars was something only children do, but I just had to do it. So tonight, as I sat on the balcony outside of mine and Xion's room staring up at the summer sky I expected nothing to happen. That's what happened every night. I would pray and pray to the night sky only for the sound of crickets to reply to me.

But as I wished on the first star that appeared in the sky the temperature suddenly dropped so low that I could see my breath and the star seemed to move. It didn't look like the typical falling star that goes across the sky, it looked more like it was coming at me like a meteor. I tried to run back in the house but me feet were frozen in place.

Before the impact the world seemed to stop. A blinding light forced me to close my eyes as a calming female voice spoke, "I have watched you come out here every night and pray to me. I shall help you with your desire and send you back to the past and allow you to go back five times. When you are ready to come back you must kill yourself or you'll find yourself stuck. Don't worry little one, you won't stay dead. You'll just come back to your new present. I shall do you one more favor. I will show you the day everything started to go wrong."

~x~X~x~X~

I shot up in my bed. What the hell just happened? I felt movement beside me. Great Xion woke up now I'm going to have to deal with her whining about me disturbing her beauty sleep. I tried to fall back asleep but was rudely awaken when I felt a long, wet tongue slide across my cheek.

That…that wasn't Xion.

I looked to my left and saw my old dog Pluto. My heart swelled with love as I looked into those brown eyes. I loved Pluto. But he died of old age when I was seventeen. And he wasn't looking so old now.

What the fuck is going on? I looked around and noticed the room. The sun was up so it was easy to see I was in my old room at my father's house. I haven't been here since I was 10. I jumped out of the bed, ran out of my room and down the hall into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I noticed my reflection looked younger. 16 years younger to be exact. What the hell! Then I saw something on my neck. It was a blue tattoo that was in the shape of a 5.

_I will show you the day everything started to go wrong_

That's right, I almost forgot about last night. So, what happened today that messed me up? I was about to pull my childhood dog close and fall back asleep, but right as I started to feel my eyelids start to droop a loud _BANG! _Not thinking I jumped out of bed and started to run down to the noise. I ended up in the living room just in time to see my father hit my mother so hard that the impact sent her flying across the room. I couldn't move. That man scared me too much to just go running towards him even if it was to defend my mother.

My mother got up off the floor looked over in my direction and yelled, "Roxas hurry up and run over to Axel's. NOW!"

As soon she said that I turned towards the door and sprinted outside not caring that I was still in my PJ's. Once I was out of I realized what today was. Today was the day my mother got tired of my father's abuse and bull shit packed up and left Radiant Gardens with me. Was leaving with her what ruined up my life? Wasn't leaving with her supposed to help my life? What good would come from staying the abusive drunk of a father? Before I could think about it anymore, I was across the street at Axel's house.

Axel Marietti was my best friend. We were next door neighbors and have known each other since we were in diapers. He was a year older than me and bossed me around because of it. He had bright red hair and green eyes.

I went inside the house knowing it wasn't locked and I wouldn't get in trouble for going inside, it's not like I haven't done it before, or Axel's done it at my house. To our mothers, we were both their sons. My feet took me into the kitchen where it looked like Axel and his family were about to start eating breakfast. Axel's mom asked me if I was alright, but I just stared at the floor and tried to remember what happens next.

Let's see…16 years ago I woke up to my parents fighting (again) and then my mother came in my room and told me to wait at Axel's house for her. I ran up to Axel's room while him and his family were oblivious to me being there. They found me curled up under the bed after my mother came to find me and tell me we were leaving and never coming back.

Now things were different. They knew I was here, and I knew what would happen in about an hour. I heard Mrs. Marietti ask me if I was okay again but I still didn't answer or look up. There was a faint squeak of a chair moving and I felt a warm hand on my chin and force my eyes up off the floor and up to green eyes.

My heart dropped into my stomach and I clung to him. How long has it been since I last thought of him? I remember when I first moved for the first few nights I would cry myself to sleep thinking about our sleepovers. On the first day of school I cried because Axel wasn't there for me to sit with him during lunch or tease me whenever I did something embarrassing. But as the years wore on, I started thinking about him less and less until I stopped thinking about him all together.

I started to cry. I was such a horrible friend! Now I know that I was missing my best friend. I needed him to help me throughout my life. I needed him to act stupid with, someone to experience my first love with, someone to vent to when my problems got too much to handle by myself.

But what if I wasn't someone Axel needed in his life? What if he was happy with the life he had and here I was ruining it for him. What if I just made his life hell for him if I stay.

"Axel and Roxas sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sang Axel's older brother, Reno, from his seat at the table.

"Shut up Reno!" Axel shouted at his brother and pulled my closer to him when I tried to get out of our hug. I don't remember his body heat being this intense. But it wasn't uncomfortable, instead I felt safe. Like not matter what bad things would happen to me, Axel would always be there for me and have my back.

"Ha! Look he's crying! Did I hurt poor Roxy's feelings?" Reno mocked me. Like he had any idea way I was crying. I faced Reno and was about to say things no 10-year-old should ever say but before any words were out of my mouth Axel stepped out of our hug, grabbed my wrist and dragged me up to his room.

"'Kay we're alone. Now spill. What's wrong with you?" He sat on the bed and looked at me as I paced the room, fingers fisted in my hair. How was I going to tell him that I was from the future and was back so I wouldn't lose him but was going to be forced to leave forever soon? Well I guess I could tell him like that, but he would probably think I was joking with him and laugh it off or he would think I went insane and wouldn't talk to me anymore.

After a few more minutes of pacing I decided to tell him the semi-truth, "Mom and dad are fighting again. I…I think I'm leaving."

Axel knew how much of an ass my dad could be and knew how he got when he was mad, "Don't worry Roxy, I'll keep you safe." He grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. Had he always this clingy?

There was a sudden knock at the door, "Roxas it's your mother. Can you please open the door so I can talk to you?"

Nononononononono I knew what she wanted to talk about. I don't want to leave. I finally got my best friend back.

I curled myself deeper into Axel's chest with the faint hope that I would be able to disappear into the redhead and not have to deal with anymore of this. It may have only been the morning, but I was tired and emotionally drained. I don't want to relive any of this.

"Roxy? What's wrong?" Axel's voice was quiet as he gently petted my hair.

"I don't want to leave. If she comes in here she'll going to take me away forever! I don't want to leave you again." I could feel tears sting at my eyes. What could I do to fix this? What good had come from me being here?

Axel's hand froze and he gave me a confused look, "Again? You've never left me, Roxy."

"Roxas open this door right now! We need to leave before he comes for us!" My mother screeched; making me flinch. He wrapped an arm around my waist like it would stop Mom all.

It all happened so fast. The door swung open with Mom and Mrs. Marietti (who was holding the house's skeleton key) standing on the other side. The two women somehow managed to get mine an Axel's death grips off each other. I struggled in my mother's arms as I cried for her to put me down. I didn't want to leave Axel. I didn't want to move. I begged and pleaded with her. I could hear Axel scream for me in his room, probably being held back by his mom.

My body went limp once we made it passed the front door and into the morning sun. My mother had no problem placing me in our family's old, beat up station wagon. There were already some bags stuffed into the trunk, mom must have packed while I was with Axel.

Speaking of Axel, I looked back at his home. He stood in his bedroom window, tears running down his eyes as he clung to his mother's waist. I made a silent promise to myself that I would find him again. I'm not sure what the star meant by sending me back here, but Axel had to mean something.

X~x~X~x~

When it was getting close to dinner time, we stopped at a diner that I recognized from the first time I lived through this. If I remember right the pancakes were killer here. I've always wanted to come back, but it was too far away from where mom moved us to.

The waitress came to collect our order and we waited in silence. I felt like I should ask my mom where we were going and when we would be back home, but I already knew the answers. Hollow Bastion and never. But this was also ten-year-old me. I remember how I used to annoy both my parents with my endless questions. I hoped mom took my silence as a sign of defiance and from being upset and not figure out that I'm not really me.

Our food came and I quickly scarfed down the pancakes -I was right by the way, they really were amazing- and Mom kept her eyes set on the wall across from her, deep in thought. I knew better then to bug her. The woman had just uprooted us with nowhere to go, no money, and no plan. She would need time to get herself together.

By the time we were done eating I was itching to get back to my time. I wanted to see if I was able to change anything. Its not like I did much differently. At least this time I got to say goodbye to my best friend. Maybe my time here was up. What did the star say I had to do once I was done?

Oh yeah, kill myself.

I don't know what was wrong with me, but I found myself wondering out while my mom used the restroom. I'm honestly surprised no one stopped the small, unattended child who was make a b-line towards the busy highway. I stood there for a couple of minutes, waiting for the smaller cars and vans pass by. It didn't take long for a large semi to come speeding down.

Okay, I can do this.

1….2….3…..

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I know, not a lot has changed since the original fic, but I felt the need to post it as its own story since I'm combining chapters and things would get messy and complicated so boom new(ish?) fic for you lovely people.

Reviews are always a lovely and welcomed thing :)


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapters 2 & 3! Both were pretty short (not even 1k each) and I tried to add more detail but I don't think I added very much. But I hope ya'll enjoy it!

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My head was pounding when I woke up. A groan from beside me and the blankets around me getting pulled to the side made my heart start quicken. Who was I in bed with? I glanced down at my left hand and saw a golden band around my ring finger.

Okay so I was married. But to who?

I crawled out if bed as casually as I could so my bedmate wouldn't suspect anything was wrong with me. I held my breath as I turned to face the bed and peered at the lump of blankets.

A disappointed sigh left my lips when I saw who it was. Xion's small frame was under the covers and her bug blue eyes were looking at me. I say looking, but really, she was giving me a death glare. Just a nice, happy marriage.

"Don't sigh like that first thing in the morning. You'll die faster," Ah yes, Xion logic. I wonder if she's ever been right.

A quick glance around the room showed me that I was in the same home from my previous life. Everything was the same, even down to the comforter and clashing wallpaper. I couldn't help the frown the thought of everything being a dream. My heart sank just thinking about how heart broken Axel had looked. Maybe I could look him up in the phone book or something. See if we could grab lunch and maybe catch up. Or would that be too weird? What if he didn't remember his old childhood friend. I had forgotten him, what's not to say the same for him?

Oh, Xion was still talking, "Huh?" I looked back at my annoyed looking wife. She glared at me for a hard second. When had we gotten so bitter towards each other? We wouldn't be married if there wasn't some feeling in the beginning, right? I knew I loved her a long time ago, but I can't place when those feelings had started to fade. I wonder when her feelings for me started to fade as well…

"You slept through your alarm. You should leave soon or Marietti will cut your pay again." Her voice was clipped as she pulled the blankets over her head as she settled back in bed, ending any conversation with me.

Marietti? As in Axel Marietti? Maybe I didn't dream it all up last night.

I could feel my spirit lift. Maybe my life wasn't so crappy anymore.

It took a bit of snooping, but I did find out that I worked as a mechanic at Marietti Garage. Funny, I don't even know how to change my car's oil. How did I ever get a job there? Maybe Axel gave it to me. I could feel my pulse pick up at the thought of seeing the redhead again. I wonder how he looks now.

I never heard of the business before so I had to use the GPS on my phone to find the way. It was surprisingly not far from my house, I could have walked if I was really motivated too. I ran into the garage and quickly changed into the mandatory jumpsuit. Kind of weird to keep it in a locker here when storing it at home where it could get washed regularly would have been more ideal, but maybe it was company policy. At least it didn't reek of B.O. and gasoline.

A man with blond hair that looked like mine and blue eyes (seriously was this guy my long-lost older brother or something?) came into the changing room and nodded his head in greeting before changing into his own uniform, "Didn't your shift start already? Reno won't be happy. Isn't this like the fourth time in the past week?"

Reno? Reno owned this place? What happened to Axel!? I want Axel!

Just as the blond was done changing the door slammed open and a fuming Reno stormed in. Have I ever mentioned how scary he looked when he was pissed? But I do have to admit he grew up well. Last I remember he was about twelve, his has hair was almost a bowl cut and his face was covered in acne. His limbs were still lanky, but at least he had grown into them. But now his hair was longer and tied in a ponytail that went all the way to his lower back and his face had naturally cleared up.

"Lemony, you're late again," the redhead growled.

"I best be off now. Good luck, Roxas," The blond said as he slipped past Reno. What was with that smile? Like me getting into trouble was funny or something. What a jerk.

Well better make the boss happy so I don't get fired, "I'm sorry Reno, it won't happen again."

"Mr. Marietti," Reno corrected. Corrected. Have we not known each other for our whole childhood? And here I thought we would have been past that level of formality. Maybe it was to keep a line of professionalism between us? Show no favorites? "After what you did to my brother, you're lucky I gave you a job here. Now get to work before I fire your pathetic, sorry ass."

To say the least, I was stunned. What could I have possibly done to Axel that would piss Reno off this bad?

When I didn't move the redhead sent me one last glare in my direction and stormed out of the small room. I probably stood there for a good half hour just thinking about what I may have done to my friend. I really wished this whole time traveling had a 'catch up on everything you changed' feature. That would be nice right about now.

~X~x~X~x~

How in hell did I become a mechanic? I had no idea what I was doing. The first thing Reno made me do was change a bleed out the breaks for a Mustang. Why would you need to bleed breaks? They don't have blood. Unless horse power comes from horse's blood! No, stop that Roxas. You're an adult. No more stupid thoughts.

My co-worker (whose name I found out to be Cloud) had to help me all day long. He was actually really cool. Whenever I asked him for help, he would just laugh it off and said some remark about how I've been acting like I hit my head. I would just laugh and agree with him. Maybe I really did hit my head hard enough to just hallucinate a whole different life. Or maybe this is just some weird Mandela effect going on and two universes are colliding and I'm the only person in lucky enough to notice.

So here I was. In the shower trying to rub the grease off. I was still bothered about Reno's comment about Axel. Not to mention Reno kept giving me stink eye the whole day. I clearly wasn't his favorite employee. If he had such a grudge against me then why am I even working for him? Nothing is making any sense to me.

I stepped out of the shower once I was all clean and caught my reflection in the mirror and the blue 5 was still on my neck. The first time really was a free pass. Should I go back and find out what I did? Or would that just make things worse?

I didn't sleep that night. I was restless in bed, prompting Xion to kick me out. I paced the living room floor for god knows how long. I was making a mental pro and con list on going back or just staying here.

Pros:

I can fix whatever I did to Axel.

I can prevent becoming a mechanic. Not that there's anything wrong with it, just wasn't my dream job.

Prevent whatever this mutual hatred between me and Xion was.

Cons:

I mess things up even more and probably cause the fabric of time to rip.

None of this is real and I'm really in a mental hospital.

The sun was slowly coming up when I finished my list. It may not have been long, but it was hard to make a logical list when none of this made sense! But I was given this gift for a reason. No sense in wasting it. I don't think I could live with myself if I just gave up and live with past regrets that I had the power of fixing.

Plus there was that one nagging question in the back of my mind. I needed to find out what I had done to Axel.


End file.
